Setting positive boundaries.

When you hear the word boundaries what comes to mind? It is easy to lose sight of setting positive boundaries to ensure we look after our Mental Health and Well-being. Setting boundaries is something that is important in all areas of our lives, from emotional boundaries to physical boundaries.

What are Healthy boundaries?

Healthy boundaries can be described as what someone allows whether firm, lose or in-between in regards to a space you are comfortable in, between you and another person. It is how someone can identify themselves and their beliefs. It allows for expression of what an individual may or may not accept from others. It is letting others know what you accept and what you don’t accept.

How are boundaries important for Self Care?

Most people find it difficult to set boundaries, however, it’s a crucial component in regards to looking after ourselves mentally and physically. For example, when reflecting on work, or even personal relationships, not communicating acceptable boundaries may lead to resentment, frustration, fatigue and burnout.

Setting Boundaries.

Most people find it difficult to communicate how they are feeling so it is important to know how to have assertive communication. Assertive communication is knowing how to express yourself clearly and directly while respecting the others.

Assertive communication is;

• Ensuring your tone and volume are at a normal conversation level.
• Body language matches your conversation, eye contact, standing relaxed and upright, relaxed facial muscles.
• State your point of view, request clearly and be open and honest. It is also important to listen to what they have to say too. This doesn’t mean that you change your point of view or give in to their demands.
• Use the “I statement” No one can take away how you are feeling however, if you use words like “you think…You are etc.” This is passing judgement and chances are it will not be a good conversation for either party involved.
• Remember having your opinion and saying “no” to something is not being selfish, it is being honest with yourself and your decision. Be proud you know and understand your boundaries.

Some boundaries in your Professional World;

• As an employee or employer you are able to keep your personal family life private from others. Whilst you can share some information if you choose, setting boundaries to what you would like to disclose is up to you. Also some employees may not feel comfortable hearing about other employees private lives and what they do outside of the work environment. Setting boundaries can be as easy as suggesting they speak with a counsellor or directing them to their line managers which will eliminate the pressure on yourself. Do not feel it is your responsibility to go out of your comfort zone to deal with issues however, just forwarding on the referral means you have opened the avenue for colleagues well-being, but also yours.

Some boundaries in your Friendships;

• Being open and honest with friends and not feeling guilty for politely declining a catch up or doing something you are not comfortable doing. Setting healthy boundaries in regards to socialising with friends and family time, vice versa.

Romantic partnership Boundaries;

• Again it’s about being open and honest. A lack of boundaries can lead to unhealthy relationships. This can be the difference between a happy relationships to a toxic, dysfunctional relationship. Communicating when you require support or requesting time to yourself for your own self-care.
• Boundaries with children are also very important. Not only does this teach discipline but also autonomy.

Overall, having healthy boundaries means you have a mutual understanding and respect for each other. This is especially important when you are interacting with people where by one authority has over the other, such as parents, romantic partners, colleagues, managers and in a school setting students.