Communication is the exchange of information. Although thought to be simple, it is the reason for many misunderstandings and conflict if not executed correctly.
During the exchange of information, two forms of communication take place, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal.
Interpersonal which is defined as our behaviour. Interpersonal communication is the face to face sending and receiving information and how this is communicated via body language, tone of voice and expression which enables receiver to responds to the message.
2. Intrapersonal which is defined as our thinking. Intrapersonal communication refers to the thought process we have internally which determines how we perceive information. These thinking processes can either empower or cause bias thoughts and perceptions according to life experiences.
SOME TIPS ON GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS
- LISTENING – being a good listener takes skill and is very important to be a good communicator.
- NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION – Body language, eye contact, posture, hand gestures.
- PARAPHRASE – checking understanding by stating what you think you heard.
- REFLECTING – Checking emotions attached to verbal message (sounds like you are…)
- EMPATHY – Looking at the situation from the other persons perspective (very helpful!)
- OPEN MINDEDNESS – non bias
SO COMMUNICATING RESPECTFULLY – IS BY USING EMPATHY, PARAPHRASING, REFLECTING, GOOD QUESTIONING TECHNIQUES AND MOST IMPORTANTLY LISTENING.
IF CONFLICT ARISES, HOW TO RESOLVE FAIRLY
- Choose a time both individuals are available to discuss the issue.
- Be clear and specific to your argument.
- Most importantly remain calm as being angry removes your capacity to talk through your concerns.
DO NOT..
- Ignore the other person or punish them to “silent treatment” as chances are the issue will just escalate.
- Leaving the room is generally not the best option, however if that is how you deal with self regulation, let the other person know you will calm yourself down and return.
- Allow a build up of small trivial issues and then explode. As issues arise, it is okay to discuss them and remove them from your list of frustrations.
COMMUNICATING..
- Always be respectful as you would in return.
- Say what you really mean, do not sugar coat or use analogies.
- Be specific to what is really irritating you.
- ALWAYS use “I” statements. “I feel angry when …” “I feel not listened too when …”
DO NOT…
- Bring up past experiences into the current issue.
- Never generalise, such as ” you always…” “you never…”
- Target the person with sensitive information that you know will purposely hurt them or also known as a “low blow, hit below the belt..”
- Remember your aim is to resolve the issue not take revenge.
LISTEN ATTENTIVELY…
- Try to understand what the other person is trying to tell you, take into consideration their feelings, beliefs and perceptions.
- Reflect and paraphrase what they have communicated, as this allows for a clearer understanding but also acknowledgement to them that you have heard what they have expressed.
DO NOT…
- Be judgemental.
- Jump to conclusions.
- Cut them off or belittle them with their responses.
- Assume the other person is telepathic and knows what you are thinking.
OUTCOMES…
- Once both have stated their perceptions, discuss what outcome you both would like.
- What the solution may be and how to action it from both ends.
- Ensure you both are satisfied with the final decision or forever hold your peace!
- Be open to making changes or compromising so both parties can be happy.
- Once an agreement has been made, hug it out, have a drink together or a meal.
- LASTLY, RESOLVED MEANS RESOLVED.
DO NOT…
- Have a mindset of ” I need to win the battle and they need to conform to me!”
- Revenge, (it never fixes the issue but prolongs it).
- Be non negotiable.
- Break agreements and negotiations made.